I have been used.
I have been abused.
I have been taken advantage of.

One of the worst thing in life is being abused and taken advantage of by someone you loved.
By someone you thought cared for you.
By someone that you have shown vulnerability to and became vulnerable to.
By someone that you have shown love and affection to and trusting them to not hurt you.

I was sexually abused by my father when I was young.
I loved him and cared for him.
The whole time I didn’t realize what he was doing was wrong.
It took me many years to finally accept and understand that he took advantage of my love for him.
He took advantage of my trust in him.

I hated him for that!

It was all innocent at first but that is how it always started.
Normalizing small inappropriate behavior until it’s too late.
It was hard for me to see that he was doing anything wrong to me because I thought he loved me and I loved him.
It was hard to accept that someone that I am supposed to trust and love would take advantage of me.
I trusted him!

For a long time I felt ashamed of myself.
I felt betrayed.
How could someone that is supposed to love me take advantage of me???
How could someone I gave my trust take advantage of that trust???

It took me years and later on some ongoing therapy to accept the fact that I was not at fault.
I didn’t deserve to be abused and taken advantage of.
I deserve to be loved without worrying that I will be taken advantage of.

But it is a process that I deal with every day.
I became stronger and wiser because of this.
I became more aware when PREDATORS like him are lurking around.

Because of this it helped me become more aware of my surroundings.
Because of this I became more aware of what people do.
Because of this I can be overly protective of my friends and loved ones.
Because I understand how it is to somehow not see that someone is doing something wrong to you.
Specially when that person is disguised as a loved one.

This is why I want to help other people that are not able to see when others are doing something wrong to them.
I want to help others understand that it is not their fault.
But it saddens me when they are not ready to listen and understand.

I know because I used to be one of them.

To this day most people that know my father thinks he was an amazing and loving father to us …